My brother in law passed away two days ago.  He was 61.  He had a nastey cancer that he fought with every ounce he had.  He was succesful in beating the odds and living life every day for an amazing number of years.   My late husband-his brother also did the same. Amazing-of course i know my DH had more that he wanted to do,  I have have no doubt that when he is reborn, in whatever form he chooses to take he will take up living just so all over again.  I believe my brother in law will do the same.  Their bodies ran out of juice-cant really blame it on one thing or another.  I have two wonderful children who are very busy figuring out their own lives-and their two cousins are doing the same,   All that part is fine.  My sister in law has the tougher go.  How do you keep going when. The life partner dissappears?  It is never, ever the same.  Luckily I found a fellow that I love dearly-but I seriously feel guilty-that I am a little broken-still me-but not.  So my dearest wish for my sister in law is firstly peace.  She is blessed with a lovely family of brothers and sisters, as well as two daughters and grandbabies-so that role is there for her to enjoy to the fullest.  Grief is such a monster-it pops out at you and seeks control.  It takes time and training to learn how to train it.  Probably why there are so many books devoted to it,  One day at a time.  Enjoy every day.  Live every day with all you have.