Love Always

The thing above love is how it can grow-Sometimes it takes a special person to remind you, or me in this case, that we always have the power to love, the ability to feel loved, even if we wonder why?

I am reminded of this by a good friend, a fellow that I met through motorcycle riding.  I’ve known his wife for about 12 years. I’ve always thought she was a strong lady, and I am more sure of this now.  

He has what can be considered terminal cancer.  If you have experienced or know of someone undergoing chemotherapy you know how devestating it can be to the human body while the drug is coursing through your system trying to zap those tumours, slow the growth and kill the cancer.  Scott made a decision to stop treatment, while a decision to stop treatment is a very difficult one, I have total respect for it.   Science has come a long way to reduce or hide the effects of chemo, but sometimes it isn’t enough. 

Scott’s Team of Hope are having a fall motorcycle cruise -riding a motorcycle is something Scott loves to do.  And the friends who love Scott are pushing hope and love and support out there for him.  Yes it is a fundraising ride, for Huntsville Hospice…people who care about lives and living and dying with dignity.  looking after our loved ones who are dying from  cancer, from old age, from an auto-immune disease-just dying.   It’s also for the special  place that they can go to, although I know from personal experience that the special people who work or volunteer in hospice care come to you too, and their service is such a gift to us and the person they are helping.  

Scott may decide to give chemotherapy another chance-things change and our minds have such amazing healing powers that we can tap into, maybe with all the love from his friends, his community, his beliefs, his beautiful family he can kick this cancer, or put it into remission  or live with cancer in a way that he can have a quality of life he can live with.  

I was trying to fall asleep tonight and I was talking to Scott in my head-Paulette was right there too,don’t worry.  Trying the mindfulness relaxation techniques I learned, giving him a foot message, oops  , well I hit post before I was ready!

My sister Mary came to me and I felt her love-the tears started pouring down my face and  I asked to to welcome Scott, maybe soon, maybe not for a while, I have not felt that love so intensely in a long time- it felt so good -she passed away 23 years ago, but I know she will love him.   That is one small gift that Scott gave me, feeling the love from and for Mary again.   Thankyou Scott.


Where did the summer go?

Well that was quite a summer!

I am very thankful for the technology that created smart phones otherwise I wouldn’t be able to go back and remember what I did all summer!  I found a few pictures, of course had to relearn how to upload them !


Sometime in April or May I had a mild relapse, honestly sometimes I think I know so little about this disease.   So my GP suggested a work schedule that while still working half time, would allow me rest days and a shorter work day overall.  I think it made a huge difference overall, and I’m starting back to 4 days a week with a break on Wednesdays, and a slightly longer day.

While the summer weather was fantastic for this area, hot and sunny to the point where we had elevated fire bans in August, it was too much for this body.  Thank goodness for air conditioning.  At home, at work, in the car, without it, I doubt I would have functioned as well as I did.  I even went so far as to request a cooling vest prescription and I’m checking out whether or not it is covered.

Some symptoms can be brought on by elevated body temperatures, well any of them really, but the ones that get me are pain behind my eyes, migraines, my right hand doesn’t want to work, and my arm feels like I have a twenty five pound weight attached to it.  Some stuff I don’t really even think about otherwise I wouldn’t get out of bed.  Depression is also part of it, almost like a cycle, I overdo it, get fatigued, eye pain, migraine, sleep for 24 hours, brain fog, and get weepy, and if it’s too hot, the time it takes for me to go downhill shrinks.   I think those who have MS will understand this, or any disease affected by inflammation, or a brain that skewers what it needs to fight.

One of the most enjoyable purchases that Chris made this summer was a lovely boat,  21 feet, big enough to go fast, small enough to take from one lake to another.  Muskoka has lots of lakes.  So this is something we can enjoy for many years!

I haven’t posted for some time, and I really need to get back on the planet and be more regular.