My girlfriend was kind enough to give my daughter some pictures in a little photo album of when she was a baby.  My husband was always the -picture taker-.  My daughter turns 25 this year, and of course milestones always bring on memories and tears.   The pictures were cute, and her dad is with her in a few.  He loved her so much, he loved both his kids so much.  He would be so proud of her accomplishments.  I know she still feels ripped off.  She was turning 15 when he passed away. When I see my current partners girls, and how little time they spend with their dad, makes me want to scream.  I know it is different when parents are divorced and the kids go live with the mum or the dad, but I still want to shake them up. Having said that,  I know they do the best they can, but they have no idea how lucky they are.

I have had my place up for sale, since I moved in with my partner 4 years ago, and am finally going to rent – which means packing – omg, another tear jerker….I know we have to let our feelings flow, and that there are lots of happy memories, but for my daughter I am sad, I wish so much that her dad was here for her, to give her a hug and tell her she is doing great – then tell her a joke – 🙂

MS wise I am pissed, I wonder what I am still doing here, I cant help it sometimes.  I was always so fit, so healthy, just a regular mom – I went to physio therapist to see what I could do to help the muscles I have with walking, and I find out my hip muscles are not doing much – no message getting through.   Urgg- 90 percent of the time I am good to go, will soldier on, life is good.  But then I wonder – would my partner be better off on his own? My mom was 41 when I was born.  So, since I am 52, I would be 11.  My mom went back to work when I was 11.  Why do we think too much?  I am still hoping to take the mindfulness course but I wonder if I should stop the copaxone?  Is it doing anything?

I am getting a headache doing all this thinking.  Really was not my intention at all.